The solitary Samuranis

            Mythili was an eighteen and a half year old puny kid who looked extremely incongruous in a sari, especially with a bulging belly. Her wretched timeline read - “Married-4 months ago....Now-3 months pregnant...Current marital status-widow since 2 months!” She was brought for consultation by her sister-in-law,who tearfully recounted the cruel accident that killed her brother. Mythili sat quietly dry-and distant-eyed.

I dreaded what would be coming next-a request for an abortion, of course. But to my pleasant astonishment, they wanted to keep the baby! “He was my only brother. The family has decided-we want the baby.”

“That’s fine... But what about you?” I asked Mythili. I was curious to get some reaction from her. “Want to continue?” She was so short that if the baby were a gram over 2.5 Kgs, she would need a cesarean section...not to consider the pregnancy complications she would have in teenage pregnancy. Absently she nodded assent, but her body language and expressions were far from the bravado, which she was putting up, probably, egged on by a family intent on seeing an heir.

Bhanumathi was a shade less unlucky-if you considered an absconding husband better than a dead one! She enters my office, her two-year old daughter in tow. “I accept the pain that he dumped me in my parents’ home after I got pregnant, but he has seen her only once after she was born, madam,” she says, a wan smile on her sorry face. “Our divorce is in process.” A year ago, I had counseled and cajoled her to try stooping to conquer him. She had gone back to him, only to be beaten black and blue; verbally abused and mentally wrecked.

“What’s the alimony? You are jobless, staying with a widowed mother and have a daughter to care for.”

 “ I’m demanding none. Getting off from his clutches is prize enough for me!”

So is it with the beautiful, tall Reshma. Hailing from a rich and powerful family, she was married off to a lawyer-who most ironically was a dowry-monger and wife beater! After several failed trials at reconciliations came the inevitable police complaints and lawyer consultations. Five years and one difficult delivery post-marriage, Reshma’s life was hobbling back to lonely normalcy when she met with an accident that almost killed her. But what hurt her most was that her husband never once came to see her even as she lay battling for life. It broke her completely and she filed for divorce.

Savitha doesn’t want to do even that. Because her husband works for a public sector enterprise, any complaint from the wife could hamper his future in the company. Also, she is scared that he may try to get even with her father who has two more years of service and is now the sole breadwinner for the family. The couple was trying to have a second child when they came to me. After treating her for six months when I broke the news that she had conceived, she broke my heart by saying she had separated from her husband two weeks ago! Out came the horrendous stories of wife bashing, paranoia about her behavior and absolute severing of communication from all relatives. It drove her to fleeing from him, along with their six-year old daughter; one lucky afternoon when he had forgotten to lock her at home! By the time she delivered a bonny son, she had resigned herself to a lonely life, burdened with the responsibility of two children.

Well, this is not a blog fighting for women or society bashing over their sorry state. Enough lip services have been rendered for that. My focus is on the women themselves.

Each of them hailed from modest backgrounds. Most with less than desirable qualifications, were they to apply for a job. They were coursing through trying times, not sure of what lay ahead. However, every one of them, without an exception, was unafraid! They had courage enough to face and accept reality without histrionics or self-pity. They were mature enough to shift focus from their traumatic yesterdays to challenging tomorrows. They were fast learning to step out alone and take on the world outside.

Reshma had taken up a franchise for a cosmetic company, Bhanumathi was learning tailoring and Savitha began working as an office assistant in a small company. What was more heartening was the positive vibes I received from these young women and their families when I gently suggested remarriage in the future. This could not have happened a few decades ago when women had undergone similar ordeals. But this was a brave new India emerging.

So what if the Women’s Reservation Bill is still in limbo? I am witness to a quiet revolution at grass roots- of women trying to find themselves and redefine their lives, no longer waiting for someone else to empower them. Women who do not fear or care for the insensitive words or misplaced sentiments of a cruel world. Women who are proud and responsible enough to don the mantle of a single parent and defiantly look right back into the world’s unsympathetic eyes. Being single may not be difficult for a well-educated or wealthy woman. But for these girls, with most ordinary profiles, it is indeed a huge step forward and as a woman, I feel so proud of them.

If we thought that we were underprivileged being women, then putting ourselves in their miserable shoes for a fleeting second will reveal to us the daunting task they have gladly accepted-of being a caring mother and a responsible father for their growing children-for no fault of theirs’.

To all these brave, single women warriors-the solitary samuranis- I dedicate this blog.

P.S: I have changed their names in order to preserve the identity of my patients. But each one of them is a living heroine, fighting a lonely battle. 

Walking high (pastels on paper)