(This blog was written over 3 years ago, but things have not changed much now either…..)
Two men in their sixties have been in news, having captured the hearts of twenty something sirens. The romance between the two incongruous personalities might not have taken many by surprise in this era, when, probably short of incest, everything from same sex marriages to one-night stands are spoken of, indulged in and debated vehemently for; without a twinge of conscience, morality or responsibility. However commonplace it may seem to many or any, I still can’t imagine falling for someone old enough to be my dad or even my grand dad, if he had gotten my mother married by the age of nineteen! (I know, you are thinking of ‘Cheeene kum.’ But here Tabbo was thirty-something)
So, what is it that these young girls, hardly out of teens, find in older men much to the frustration of young hunks? What did Nihita find when she fell hook, line and sinker and even got engaged to the noted criminal Charles Sobhraj languishing in Nepal jail? Was it only his celebrity status that attracted Riya Sen to Salman Rushdie? What possibly can they have for a common conversation given the age gap? Sweet nothings (literally) which sour rapidly! Even discussing present day movies would be disastrous. Probably weather should be OK. It does not change for different aged people, especially if they are in heat!
Why does a pretty girl suddenly go bonkers enough to think of marriage with an ‘uncleji’?
1. The Electra complex:
Though the present Psychologists have rubbished much of Sigmund Freud, it is an accepted fact that girls tend to measure up the men in their lives alongside their fathers. It has also been documented in research that the choice of partners that we (men or women) make is greatly influenced by our parents of the opposite sex and our relationship with them.
As an extension is the corollary that young girls are attracted to men old enough to be their fathers, subconsciously. This is the Electra complex. When a boy is sexually attracted to his mother (which is certainly not uncommon) it is called Oedipus complex.
2. Lure of lucre:
Unlike their boyfriends, who are probably just out of college and struggling to get into a decently paying job, the older men are already established in society with a solid financial security. Coupled with their celebrity status, they have immense power too. Poor brawn power of the third decade loses to the absolute power of the baldie! Which woman, especially a social climber with sky-high vision, can resist the venomous combination of power and money!
Salman Rushdie has just won the Best of Booker award too. If he is famous for his writing, Sobhraj makes for a wonderful, exciting biography subject, with his chain of young girl friends and for being the murderer of one of them too! News hoggers are nymph hoggers too!
3. Adventure-hungry youth:
Early twenties is that period when everyone feels on top of the world, especially physically. The beauty, strength and the devil-may-care attitude of those years instils a false sense of confidence, making them deaf to any sane suggestions and blinds them to any kind of future visions. If beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, then wisdom, or lack of it, is in the rudimentary brain of that beauty!
4. Mills and Boon Romance
Somewhere on the impressionable minds of the young girls Mills and Boon stamp in. Invariably, it is a younger girl entrapped in a whirlwind romance with an older man. A chance meeting in exotic locales, innuendos, misunderstandings, another girl friend, jealousy, ball rooms with flowing, spaghetti strap dresses and tuxedos and finally the breath taking sensuous kiss! For some young girls the visions are too endearing to grow out of and they cling to it, trying to emulate it in their own lives. However, thankfully, even M&Bs have the good sense to confine the 19 year olds to maximum 38-year-old uncles!
Little do these girls realise that apart from other things, a man at 60 is probably host to hypertension, diabetes and age related illnesses. Even if they are aware of it, almost immediately being reassured that the conditions are well under control, they are in for another nasty revelation. Male menopause-also know as andropause, which may well make libido a casualty and nightmares of nights a recurrent reality! The poor man will be at the apothecaries the next morning, asking for the over-the-counter drug Sidanafil Citrate, indiscreetly known as Viagra or more indiscreetly as Penegra!
5. Need for Ladders:
Given the psychological make up of these nymphets who are obsessed with making their mark in today’s virtual world, they realize the need for god fathers-er-god-boyfriends! They are in search of elevators and not stairs. It doesn’t matter if the lift was installed decades ago. Reaching the top is the top priority!
If the young are immature enough because of the foolhardy youth, what happened to the men who have not only waxed in waistlines and wrinkles but also are supposed to be wise? What makes the older man defy and ignore the society and flaunt a child-woman with bare arms clinging onto him at a social event? Can we really imagine that this man is so smitten with puppy love as to respond to the childish overtures of a young woman? What are the answers here?
1. Need for assets:
Unfortunately, nature has condemned men to an irreparable loss when it comes to flaunting their physical assets. A six-pack abs (though most unlikely in uncleji), however fabulous, cannot be flaunted with any sort of innovative ensemble in any formal party. So how do men show themselves off? Cars, chateaux, chelas and chameli! By having the world ogle at the beauty by their side, they are making a very strong power statement. They are authenticating to everybody and most certainly to their own selves that they are still desirable and virile that they are capable of snaring that drop-dead beauty! Whoever said that only women are vain was probably unaware of the current breed!
2.? Lolita Complex:
It is the reciprocal of the Electra complex. Fathers-especially foster fathers or stepfathers- are drawn towards their daughters. Those of you who have read the book ‘Lolita’ probably can grasp this concept better. So even when the rich oldies are consciously not interested in the young things they have a nagger in the brain preaching the opposite! Now blame it on instincts!
3. Alimonies as status statements:
The worth of a man these days is probably judged by the divorce settlements that he makes at the close of another married chapter. The staggering settlement sums that we see in print are beyond imagination. Contrary to popular belief, the alimony news is as beneficial to the giver as it is to the receiver. The higher the sum, the greater are his chances of snaring the next pretty thing! He is telling the world that he can afford to pay the royal sum to be free again, to be hooked again. And still capable enough to pay the same, if not higher, the next time!
The counter-dissection may sound very convincing too! When two people are in love, age doesn’t matter. It is the unadulterated feelings for each other someone may argue. But, is there no other relationship where two differently aged people can be in perfect harmony with each other? Other than-? You may call me a boor, unrefined to the ways of modern life. Let me hear you say that if the man happens to be your dad or that girl your daughter!
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