That dawn he delightedly discovered that his prayers were answered. Dreams did come true! Jumping out of bed, he looked about, fondly at his wife’s body. Bountiful at the right places......he hugged her, hugging himself, loving the unique feeling...
“Thank You Lord!” he exalted. But by then God had just condensed into a golden bubble and had gone ‘plop’. What a conversation that had been! God had condescended and talked to him, coming to his bedroom!
“Son, it must be a woman’s matter that’s causing you to hound me 24/7 with your woeful pleas. Out with your troubles before my wife discovers I have changed bedrooms in the middle of the night!”
“Mercy, my Lord! What have I done to deserve this life of monogamy, nagging and being a thankless ATM? These seven years have taken a toll on my body. The heart that skipped a beat on just glancing at her then, now almost stops when she starts a monologue. The throat refuses to vocalize despite the mind being in an expletive mode!
After an exhaustive day at office, what do I return to? A long list of groceries, electricity/ phone bill, a demand cloaked as a request for a holiday or jewelry and a threat to keep off the bed at night if I do not oblige.
When you called us your children, why did you bless us with some more? And none as docile and dad-fearing as I have ever been all my miserable life. Keeping a tab on and copying their peers’ lifestyle for them, keeping away from that desperate cigarette and that beckoning beer till they are out of sight, suffering the admonishments at the parents-teacher meet....I envy your laid back attitude as Father.”
God wiped his eyes. “What can I do for you now?”he sniffed.
“Let me be her.”
“What? I thought you wanted her-” God made a very ungodly gesture, drawing a forefinger across his neck with a matching sound.
“Thanks, but no. I want to experience the fun she has everyday. Imagine God...packing us off and having nothing to do the whole day except watch T.V serials, manicure, pedicure, bleach, tweeze, wax and most enviably, gossip! Eight hours of sleep, twelve of pleasure and only four grumbling-working hours a day! Compare it to mine- four hours sleep, twelve of boss-pleasing, back-breaking drudgery and eight of nagging-wife and devilish-brats? How much worse can your math and skewed your vision be?
So, all I wish is to experience the pleasure of being a woman, at least one day, in this life time!”
“So be it.” God had granted and here he was, in her body.
By eight in the morning, he had trundled off the imps and the husband and was looking forward to a luxurious mid-morning with TV, newspaper, hot coffee and a relaxed dip in the bath. But the pile of clothes waiting to be washed beckoned him and later transferred him to the mound of unwashed vessels and then commissioned him to floor sweeping and mopping.
“Honey, do we need a servant? They are so unreliable. I’m sure you’ll be better without them,” he remembered saying, cleverly saving seven hundred rupees.
By afternoon, the breaking back was only thankful to be rested, oblivious to the hungry stomach. But at that moment, the children were back-noisy and demanding to be waited upon.
Evening meant shopping for vegetables, planning the next day’s menu, ironing uniforms, polishing shoes, all the while being compared to a working woman who, unlike her, was more worthy and monetarily productive too!
By ten, he was exhausted. He was missing his body. Just a few more hours and I shall never pray for anything like this, he told himself. He realized that his haves were better than his better half’s! Just as he switched off the bedroom lights, he felt his husband’s hand groping roughly. Oh another chore! That night, he realized the sea of difference between ‘Hrrruumph’ and ‘Ah...Ouch!’
At the break of dawn, God reappeared. “Thanks, my Lord. Switch us back,” He couldn’t wait. But God seemed to be in no hurry. There was a halo of guilt around him. The mortal was mortified.
“ Gawd! Is something wrong?”
“Son, I’m afraid it is.....I can’t help you...For another 40 weeks. You just got pregnant last night!” This time God disappeared without a pop!
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