“Maa? Did I come from your stomach?”
“Yes, Malli.”
“How?”
“By God’s grace… Stop asking silly questions and let me cook.”
“Is that my favorite curry you are cooking? Do you think he will spare me some if I’m a good girl today?”
“You know papa likes it too.”
“Where did he come from, ma? His mother’s stomach?” She was back at her topic of the hour.
“Hmm.” Shanti knew that at such times, uttering one extra word would trigger a fresh set of bothersome rapid fires.
“Did I come out from …here?” Malli lifted her frock and pointed to her belly button.
“Yes!” said Shanti, suddenly thankful for the human navel. But for it, she would have been at a total loss of ideas now.
“Did I hurt you while coming out, Maa?” Malli caressed her mother’s cheek with soft hands before planting a wet kiss.
“No darling. You could never hurt me.” Shanti said with eyes brimming.
“You are lying. I know…it hurts a lot. It makes you scream and writhe and clutch the bed-sheets!”
“Malli…that’s adult business. You shouldn’t be talking all this. Who have you been discussing this with?” Shanti was alarmed. Malli had friends of all ages in the neighborhood.
“No one. They showed it in the filim on TV yesterday evening! So… did you cry too, maa?”
“A little, yes.”
“Maa? Can boys have babies?”
“No.” Not an extra syllable, Shanti reminded herself.
“So he can’t be hurted…Still, why does he hate us?”
“What?”
“If the baby comes from your stomach hurted only you, why does papa not want you to have another baby?”
“How do you know this?” Shanti was aghast that Malli was privy to information beyond her age or understanding.
“I pretended to be asleep when you both were arguing… Maa, you are sad no?... There won’t be a baby, after all?” Malli asked running her little palms over her mother’s flat abdomen which had sported a gentle bump only last week.
“Yes. Just only you, princess.” Shanti hugged her daughter to hide her flowing eyes.
“Does papa hate me too?”
“No. Why should he? He loves you.”
“You’re lying ma - to protect him. I heard him say he doesn’t want a girl again. He even said he’d leave us both if you didn’t agree. He hates girls, I know!….Maa? Was she pretty too?”
“Who?”
“My sister…whom you left back in the hospital last week.” Shanti nodded.
“Will I meet her some day when I grow up, ma? Like they show in filims…long lost brothers coming together? Maa, what is her birth mark by which I can recognize her?”
She had no birthmarks..She was marked for being a girl. Shanti cursed herself for being an accomplice, albeit unwilling, to the heinous process. She wondered how long it would be before Malli would return, demanding -‘Maa, what is abortion?’
“Maa, I have an idea! If I stopped wearing frocks and switched to pants and shorts; had a short hair cut-I would look like a boy! Then perhaps papa would love me?”
Shanti tightened her embrace.
“No need to do that. I love you as you are. You can keep your long hair and pretty frocks!”
“Maa, is there anything girls can’t do that boys can?” Shanti was unsure what she was expected to say.
“No….I can’t think of anything!” Malli jumped off her mother’s lap squealing in victory.
“Oofy! Ooofy! Mummy doesn’t know this!” she cried “Maa, they can pee standing, but we can’t!” giggling, she ran away!
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